wrote:

sassy english teachers are the best because they’re beyond sarcastic and somehow always end up insulting the kid that you hate and everyone else likes

(via loungezombie)

asammyg:

How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again. 

(via lorde-of-the-dance)

kateordie:

bevsi:

if-dementors-were-pink:

can we just take a moment to imagine little cute nine-year-old hermione reading matilda

and peering into this book about a smart, bookish girl who could move things with her mind

and then can you imagine her concentrating very hard on the books on the bookshelf and slowly, slowly, getting them to move

image

Sometimes I get huffy about tumblr but then I see that 260,000 people got the same kind of chills I did reading this…

(via whynotjanice)

the-abc-cafe:

razzmic-berry:

snarby:

nepets:

snarby:

nepets:

snarby:

nepets:

snarby:

whats up hot stuff

WHAT DID YOU SAY

i said “WHATS UP HOT STUFF”

NO I SERIOUSLY CAN’T HEAR YOU CAN YOU SPEAK UP

WHAT! IS! UP! HOT! STUFF!

WHAT

IM YELLING AS LOUD AS I CAN

the amount of work I went through to read this…

(Source: gwyndor, via shorten)

disheartens:

I hope you fall in love with a man with good music taste and a jawline stronger than your wifi connection

(via blowoffs)

"

Before you take her away, promise to remember these things..

Sleep on the right side of the bed, she falls asleep best on the left.
That’s her side. It always will be.

Make sure you always have fresh avocado at the house, she likes to make her own guac even if she adds a little too much salt sometimes.
Smile and eat it anyway

Hold her hand, even though she says she hates holding hands.

Don’t bother her when she’s getting ready, sit and admire her as she touches up each lash with mascara.
You’ll love the way it makes her grey eyes stand out

When she can’t decide what she wants to eat, have her name 3 places. The first one she names is the one she wants the most.

She will find the perfect spot to lay her head in your armpit, always wear deodorant. You’ll want her favorite place to smell nice.

When she’s mad let her breathe.
Don’t smother her, she’ll come around. But please try to never make her mad

Lay behind her at night and watch the way she falls asleep. I promise you’ll never sleep more peaceful than after you see that

Hold her close from behind, but don’t put too much weight on her because she’ll wake up with a sore back.. But if you must cling to her that tight I understand, rub her sore back the next morning.

Kiss her forehead any chance you get. There’s no better feeling in the world than that split second

Any time she hugs you, you’ll soon take notice of the scent right behind her ears. No other smell will ever make you feel more at home.
Hug her any chance you can

Talk to her mother, any opportunity you get. You’ll never get tired of hearing the same stories over and over again.
I know them all.

Respect her as much as her father, you’ll never compare to the love she has for him. But you will learn a thing or two about loving her from him. Pay attention

Always forgive her. Sometimes she can’t control her tongue when she’s mad, but it’s not her fault. Tell her it’s okay

Under the covers her toes will freeze you to the bone, but her breath on your chest will burn you up quicker than the sun. Don’t wear socks under the sheets

Love her. Regardless
Put her above all. Always
Never stop reminding her that she is your entire world.

Please remember these things.
I could only hope for her heart to be in the best hands, mine have become rough and rugged.

Her flames will burn you straight to the core. But I promise the second you taste her, you’ll never want anything more.

Please remember these things.

Before you take her away, just know she is much too free to ever stay.

"
- before you take her away (stiffsmith)

(Source: stiffsmith, via taraamartin)

"

Before you take her away, promise to remember these things..

Sleep on the right side of the bed, she falls asleep best on the left.
That’s her side. It always will be.

Make sure you always have fresh avocado at the house, she likes to make her own guac even if she adds a little too much salt sometimes.
Smile and eat it anyway

Hold her hand, even though she says she hates holding hands.

Don’t bother her when she’s getting ready, sit and admire her as she touches up each lash with mascara.
You’ll love the way it makes her grey eyes stand out

When she can’t decide what she wants to eat, have her name 3 places. The first one she names is the one she wants the most.

She will find the perfect spot to lay her head in your armpit, always wear deodorant. You’ll want her favorite place to smell nice.

When she’s mad let her breathe.
Don’t smother her, she’ll come around. But please try to never make her mad

Lay behind her at night and watch the way she falls asleep. I promise you’ll never sleep more peaceful than after you see that

Hold her close from behind, but don’t put too much weight on her because she’ll wake up with a sore back.. But if you must cling to her that tight I understand, rub her sore back the next morning.

Kiss her forehead any chance you get. There’s no better feeling in the world than that split second

Any time she hugs you, you’ll soon take notice of the scent right behind her ears. No other smell will ever make you feel more at home.
Hug her any chance you can

Talk to her mother, any opportunity you get. You’ll never get tired of hearing the same stories over and over again.
I know them all.

Respect her as much as her father, you’ll never compare to the love she has for him. But you will learn a thing or two about loving her from him. Pay attention

Always forgive her. Sometimes she can’t control her tongue when she’s mad, but it’s not her fault. Tell her it’s okay

Under the covers her toes will freeze you to the bone, but her breath on your chest will burn you up quicker than the sun. Don’t wear socks under the sheets

Love her. Regardless
Put her above all. Always
Never stop reminding her that she is your entire world.

Please remember these things.
I could only hope for her heart to be in the best hands, mine have become rough and rugged.

Her flames will burn you straight to the core. But I promise the second you taste her, you’ll never want anything more.

Please remember these things.

Before you take her away, just know she is much too free to ever stay.

"
- before you take her away (stiffsmith)

(Source: stiffsmith, via taraamartin)